Let's Start at the Very Beginning...a Very Good Place to Start

And now...

The beginning of the discussion!

I'd like to talk about hair, particularly mine, since I've been obsessed with it for the last three months. If you couldn't gather by the title, or the blog summary, my hair is nappy, or kinky, or natural, or whatever you want to call it. This means that I go against the norms of a straight-haired society, and I choose to embrace my wild and bushy 4b hair texture. I actually became a naptural diva in the fifth grade, however, at that age, I did not realize the power and beauty of my tightly coiled strands. At the time, my decision to go natural was not mine, but my mother's, and only after extreme hair breakage had ensued, courtesy of a TCB no-lye relaxer. (Boycott TCB hair products!) I wore a wig after getting my big chop (BC: to be explained later), and was teased endlessly. I even had my wig pulled off in front of the entire class! It wasn't until I started wearing microbraids later in the year that I broke free of the chains in my personal hell. Needless to say, my first encounter with "nappiness" was not a good one, and I was thus socialized into believing my hair, in its true state, was inferior, as many African-American children are also socialized into believing. As I got older, and the "fried, dyed, and laid to the side" pressures of middle and high school loomed overhead, I once again embraced the "lye" and permed my hair over and over again, spending countless hours and dollars at the beauty salon, all the while ignoring the lost strands found in my comb/brush/sink/pillow everyday. I accepted this "lye" until 12th grade, where a quiet persuasion in my dreams led me to the barber, who held the clippers, which snipped the strands, that left my head round and my curls short and tight. Back in school, I was misunderstood, I was ridiculed, I was pointed out....

And I've never regretted my decision once.

Now, back to the regularly scheduled program...

I've been obsessed with my hair for the last three months, ever since I cut it, once again, into its pre-12th grade style. The second Big Chop (capitalizing that term makes it analogous to the Second Coming, lol) came as a result of my damaged locs, which were slowly falling out, dread by dread. (Now that I think of it, both of my "chops" were because of my damaged hair! Interesting.) The reason for this fall-out was my lackadaisical approach to hair care. I didn't shampoo regularly, I never conditioned, I misused grease...I was the poster child for bad hair days. Anyway, after a tear-filled consultation with a natural hair stylist, who bluntly told me that my locs would have to go as casually as one reminds someone that their oil needs to be changed, I went under the knife. (or clippers, whatever floats your boat, right?) Since I got my freedom cut, I've been insatiably educating myself about the facts and fictions of natural hair. Turns out, I've been doing a lot of things wrong. And that naive 5th grader could have really benefited from this information. Did you know:

• Nappy hair isn't as strong and coarse as it is made to be? It is actually very fragile, and must be handled with care.
• Any petrolatum or mineral oil-based products should be avoided like the plague? These heavy oils don't absorb into kinky hair; they just coat the shaft, robbing curly strands of moisture and air.
• Shampoos with lauryl or laureth sulfates are dangerous, as well? These ingredients, mainly used for lather, strip the hair of moisture.
• Deep conditioning is a must, must must?
• Brushing the hair should occur as infrequently as possible? (As stated earlier, our hair is sensitive, and should NOT be subjected to rough handling.)
• Cowashing (washing with conditioner) is a great alternative to shampoo, and can be done daily?
• Water is nappy hair's best friend, both inside and outside?
• Essential oils, such as tea tree oil, rosemary oil, olive oil, and more are good for adding moisture, softness and shine?
• The aforementioned oils can be added to conditioners, both before and after shampooing, for extra hair health and moisture?
• Protective styles, such as locs, braids, and twists, help our hair retain its length and grow long?
• Eating healthy and exercising aid in healthy hair?
• Natural lengths should only be combed through when sopping wet, and slathered in conditioner?
• Shea butter is an excellent hair moisturizer and alternative to grease?
• Natural hair is fabulous, flawless, and a facet of God's glory and genius?

Before my second BC, I knew none of this. Now that I know, let's just say my hair gets much TLC. And to be clear, I do not advocate natural hair at the expense of Black women who choose to wear their strands straight. I just love being in love with my kinks, and will make it a point to shout from the rooftops how great they are, all while slathering some shea butter on them.

I love my hair. And that statement has been a loooong time coming.

Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself.
Hubert de Givenchy, Vogue, July 1985