Last Night, Yoga Saved My Life

As a college student, I'm currently on Spring Break, and naturally, when I have nothing to do, I tend to wreak havoc. My most current havoc-wreaking endeavors have been directed at a young man with whom I accidentally fell into an online "non-relationship" last year. (He says he doesn't want a relationship, but wants me. Go figure.) Let's call him "Bill." Anyway, Bill and I constantly have the same back-and-forth argument about the lack of effort he puts forth in our "relationship." Every month or so, around the same couple of days, (you get where I'm going) I turn into the antithesis of my usual sweet self, and make a dedicated effort to destroy my relationships with all the important people in my life. (friends, mom, guys, etc.) Thus, Bill and I have recently had our appointed argument, where I whine and cry, and threaten to walk out of the "relationship," and he sits back nonchalantly and calls my bluff. To be honest, this time around, he was so arrogant and insensitive about such topics as his refusal to commit, his refusal to stop flirting with other girls, and his insistence on pointing out how needy I am that I actually considered putting weight behind my words and leaving the entire circumstance. (I'm still considering that option as I type this.)

And then yoga comes along.

Safe and sweet, with the subtle ability to sweat and contort my shape into a soothing mass of inner peace. I just finished my yoga practice, and I feel a high that cannot be brought down. I feel...peaceful. I feel...empowered. And I feel that I'm going to have to do this everyday.

What's even funnier is how a centuries old practice rooted in the Hindu tradition has become the missing fragment to link me back with the one Guy I never should have left, be it for Bill or any other man...God. While lying on my hot pink mat, I can actually hear Him speaking to me, teaching me the lessons that I cannot learn while screaming into a phone at 2,3,4,5, and 6 in the morning. God speaks to me through my yoga mat.

What did he tell me just a few minutes ago?

Let go.

I think I just might listen.

And I think I just might enter into a relationship with someone who really deserves my attention...myself.

When I was young I was sure of everything; in a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me.
John Wesley